thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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