you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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