Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she pinky promised me she was 18
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
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