That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
