I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
