apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
