I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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