Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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