you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
