I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
