I like my sex mixed with concussions.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
