summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
