There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
