I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize