sarcasm needs its own font
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
