i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize