How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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