a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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