Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't deserve a penis
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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