Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
you guys were way drunker than both of me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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