She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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