I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
