Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
