Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Randomize
