im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
this will be a night to untag.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
