they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Randomize
