you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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