But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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