She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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