he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Can I color on your dick again?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
