the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
