i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
