I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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