what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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