Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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