Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
3 2 1 whiskey
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
