if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
