If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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