I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
