It's like a parade of train wrecks.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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