NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
