i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
