Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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