420 ftw
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You're earring is so big in my mouth
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
