I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
