I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
