I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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