bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
