i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize