Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Can Purell be used as lube?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think people are normalizing furries
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
