I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
