Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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