The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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