She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
