like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
