We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
